jungle

I'm on my lunch right now. Today I woke up in the second bed that I've ever learned to love. As a young boy, I used to stare at the shevleves nailed to the walls of my bedroom and imagine them to be crooked and then straight, and myself crooked. Often, I would step back into the reality I had come to except as the truth and wonder about the future without my room, my bed, or the window that I spent so much time gazing through. Sometime I would forget the truth. The walls could cave in at any moment, I believed. Just 6 years old when the 1989 earth quake hit the bay area, it was often that I dreamed about catestrophe. I knew there was no such thing as superman and it scared me. I drew images from the tv about doom and gloom, the cold war propaganda and a nuclear ending to everything around me. It wasn't until I was 14 or 15 years old that I got over my fear of the end and began living without so much anxiety. 5 years later, at the age of 20, I was more scared than I'd ever been. more propaganda, more death, less money, more fear. Fear fear fear. I drank or smoked myself to sleep almost every night.





Now, I'm 24.