Wednesday is already 133

Haven't read the old books in a long time. I used to feel more attached and in love with those characters than the real people that loved me in my real life. I miss both of them. Today I woke up at my parents house in the garage. It was almost 1 o'clock when I got to the kitchen. Been 27 for almost 2 months now. Days are getting shorter. Sometimes I'm very happy to be alive. There is music that makes me want to give all of this another go. My mother introduced me to Ludovico Einaudi today. Hearing the chord progressions and melodies, I can imagine the way he writes music, which isn't usually the case for classical compositions if that's what his music is. I can imagine him figuring all of it out note by note as he plays. Every note runs deep from the tips of his fingers to the pain and joy in his hear. It's blood in rosy cheeks, the sun on snow. It's the sound of me waking up with energy as if everything wasn't just going to be alright, but amazing.

My two rotting teeth don't hurt anymore and hopefully won't hurt until I have time to take care of them. It wasn't too long ago that broke the second one and was worried that the pain was going to break while I was on tour. It didn't. Tomorrow morning I'm going to try to wake up in the morning. It's been a few weeks since I've had a full day. This picture was taken the day before I turned 27. We were in Lake Michigan. Today I ran 5 miles. Tomorrow I'll run 5 and a half. Hopefully.

It's the gift that keeps on taking autumn

It's the gift that keeps on taking. Pressed the flesh, barely pulled through the manic. Emotions busting at the seams. Haven't felt this narrow since 2003.

Teeth holes cavities infection, crumbling sharp dull failing,

bleeding gums chewing impacted, bite the tongue's muscle, digest the spill

Mess swollen allergic, expensive years

Offensive poverty, hate love die birth bills pills

Prescription therapy, intensive forgetful disease

Missing Teeth

Vacation water, July mountains crowded

With nothing and everything, river old lake young

August gives into Autumn retreats

Magnified naked fresh air peaks view more peaks sometimes cities

Can be vacations too

Manic, consistently unpredictable,

Afternoon is always morning, sometimes no morning at all

No plans, no escape

Haven't felt this empty

Since the first time I recognized my extra skin

Since I grew into it the first time around

Boycott the election year hysteria.

Fashion more sex, gather less war

Catapult the mess down the line

Down the generations ready to receive it

Or never be born at all

Raise lost questions raise lost cities.

Divide the party over and over and over

Collection emptied for more personal identity

Find a steadier path easier to erase all traces

And bury the prints

Last summer woke me up this morning

Covered my body in dream sweat, rolled over in it.

Last chance to walk away left with the season

Too much, Too little

Too tired to stand in the middle

Nothing less than a finishing line

Could anchor this wandering mind